Freedom is not Free
by perfectpro
Summary: Sonny Munroe has been handed the freedom from her relationship with Chad Dylan Cooper on a silver platter. Taking it, even though she wishes she didn't have to, she must find within herself the means to make it work even when it doesn't have to.
1. wake up, darling

"You hate this," he said to her one night as they laid out on his porch, watching the stars and trying to pick out the constellations they've learned. It isn't a question and the right words to respond with fumble over themselves and stumble as they try to find the way out of her mouth. Soon those words are forgotten and she really doesn't know what else to say beside the truth (but she can't tell him the truth. she'll never tell him the truth) so she closes her mouth as tight as it will go and shakes her head without making a single sound. "Liar," he hissed through clenched teeth as his eyes gazed penetratingly into hers. "You _hate_ this, Sonny. You _hate_ this," he said defiantly, almost like he was commanding her to hate it. Her throat was clogged and she couldn't find enough breath within her to shake he head and tell him, no, she didn't hate this. "Why don't you tell me already, Sonny? I know that you _hate_ this. You've always hated being someone who takes for their own benefit. Why don't you just get out of this relationship already and _say it_?" He slams the words into her with such force that she thinks (no, she knows) that the breath she is barely breathing is about to stop. He stands up and gestures around him, gestures to the wide open beach with the shoreline and the sand and the water. "Just get out of my life, Sonny. Pick a direction and run with it. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You act like I'm the greatest gift you've ever gotten but it's the complete opposite way around! I love you so much and you should hate me more then you can even think of because I've taken away your freedom. Why can't you hate this? Why can't you hate me and make this so much easier for me to do? Why do I have to tell you that you hate me? Get out, Sonny!" he yells at her as she stands from her position on the beach towel that they had been laying peacefully on only moments ago.

"Chad, I don't hate you. I have freedom and I love you and this life is the life that I would choose no matter what. I love you more than you could ever know. You just don't understand that you are the greatest gift to me no matter what you or anyone else says or tells you! I can't believe that you would think that. I love you. I'm not getting out of your life. I don't hate you! I don't hate this," Sonny whispers as she takes a step towards him. Chad leaps back, afraid of her touch. "Chad, I love you. I love this life that I have with you, and I can't bear to think of leaving it all behind for some stupid reason that you think is true when it isn't!" she cries tearfully and moves to his side like lightening, placing her hands on top of his. "Why can't you accept that I love you? Why aren't you willing to love me as I love you? I know you love me, because it's something that you've been telling me for nearly ten years now. You've been telling me that you love me since you were eighteen and I was seventeen! I'm twenty six now, and you're twenty seven! It's been over nine years since we've been together, and I love you, and you love me, and I think that you can't ruin it with this one conversation. Why are trying to ruin what we have?" she asks(demands) of him and collapses into a chair he's had on his porch since his mother came one night and decided that her son needed "the proper furniture to fit a home that might become a home for a family" in his house. Sonny had whole heartedly agreed, because that was when we she was twenty three and thinking that she and Chad were going to be hearing wedding bells headed in their direction sometime soon. That was four years ago at the insistence of his mother and girlfriend that he got new furniture. He hadn't thought about popping the question to Sonny ever since she had mentioned it one night after she had been out with Tawni and was a little drunk and babbled a lot about things she doesn't remember. She mentioned marriage and then faced him, asking Chad the question he had avoided from day one of dating. "When are going to get serious, Chad? We've been boyfriend-girlfriend for almost six years and you haven't said one thing about getting married. When are you going to pop question?" Sonny had continued the conversation as though marriage had never been brought up, but the sentences she spoke that night had always remained in Chad's memory.

"I'm not trying to ruin what we have because we don't have anything! Sonny, I asked you out because of a dare! Ever wonder why I was sporting a brand new watch the night we first went out on? That watch was the prize! If I could ask you out, convince you to say yes, and set up a date between the two of us within three days, I won the watch! I love you. So what? Love is stupid, really, Sonny. Haven't you ever wondered why I hate all of those romance novels that you read? It's because everything works out! Nothing works out like it does in the movies, Sonny. We're not going to have a fairy tale ending like you want us to! Just get out of my life before you get your hopes up for wedding bells and kids and everything else that comes with a happily ever after. I'm sorry I strung you along for so long, Sonny. You're free now. You're free to find that guy who will give you a happily ever after, and who wants to raise kids and watch you become a soccer mom who drives a mini van. I'm not that guy. You have to find him. Just get of my life before I'm not willing to let you go, Sonny. Choose any direction you want to leave from, and, please, just get out of my life before I try to keep you here forever. I'm sorry I'm not one for happily ever afters. Have fun, ok?" Chad whispered desperately, trying to turn her away from him. "Forget about me and the life we've had, Sonny. It's long behind us now and I don't want to relive a past that wasn't worth living. What we had together was fun for a while, but it's only for a while. You have to get out there and show all of the men that you've been missing out on what they've been missing out on. I have to get my bad boy reputation back in place. Sonny, I love you more than you'll ever know. That's why I'm doing this. 'If you love something, set it free,' he said in a calmer voice than any other had used that night. "You're free, Sonny."

Sonny stood on his porch facing the shore and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "You didn't hear the whole line," she said finally, sinking into a chair. Chad turned from where he stood, facing the doorway into his house, and looked at her questioningly. "You didn't hear the whole line," she repeated.

"So you said. What's the whole line then? Tell me the line and then leave here, alright? If I see you too much I'll never let you leave me. You'll be trapped. I don't want you to be trapped by anything, not even me, Sonny. Tell me the line then," he prompted, walked in front of her, and faced the shore where (luckily) no one was around for a good distance to hear the famous Hollywood couple's screaming at each other.

"I've never been trapped before, Chad. I'm not going to let you trap me. I can take care of myself, but I still need you. You can't trap me into this relationship. If I want to leave it, I will," she screamed.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! I want _out_! Get out of my life before I can't bear to let you leave it at all. I'm going to let me trap you. I heard what you said; you won't let yourself be trapped. Even though I'm sure that's true, Sonny, you have to believe me when I say that I don't want to try to trap you. I love you too much to try to do that, and I love you enough to let you go when I need to. Go." The final word is whispered, not only as a command, but a plea. He wouldn't be able to tell her to leave once more if she makes a case of it, and he knew it, so he told her one last time to leave and went into his house in case she didn't understand what he had asked of her. He clicked the several locks into their places, drew the curtains on the windows closed, and left a small girl to shudder from her sobs on his porch. Chad Dylan Cooper was so heartless that he didn't even leave the porch light on for her to find her way off of the porch.

Sonny sat and cried and sobbed for a good long while, and then picked up her phone to look through her contacts. She and Chad had gone out to dinner before they had come to his house to look at the stars, and, as usual, Chad insisted that they take his car. Which left her with no ride back to her house. Lucy was in Wisconsin, and even if she wasn't they had grown apart once Sonny had matured from being in Hollywood so long. There was a long list of relatives who lived around the country, the only one living close by being her mother. Sonny Munroe had just bawled her eyes out over a boy who was not worth it, and she hurt from heart being torn into tiny pieces and seeing it stomped on right in front of her eyes, but she still had a small margin of dignity left, and she was not going to let her mother see her like she was. Zora was visiting a friend in Orlando, Florida, so she wasn't available. Nico and Grady, were probably sleeping at a time like three in the morning (any sane person would be), and she was not about to call Marshall. Her father was still on a business trip to somewhere in Canada, and even if he wasn't, she would not let her father see her as she was either. There were many friends, none of whom she was close enough to for them to drive out of their way on a Sunday night/Monday morning. Finally, after much consideration, there was only one contact left to think about calling. Her only hope had to pick up the phone, even at such an unreasonable hour. After a few rings, there was Tawni's voice floating out of the receiver in its fun and carefree way. "You've got Tawni Hart at five-five-five-one-zero-seven-nine. I'm not available right now, but once I get your message I'll try to call you back as soon as I can. Thanks for calling. Bye," the voice snapped and a tone ensued, then silence was left in the air. Sonny stood up from the chair, and followed Chad's directions by picking a direction and walking with it. She decided that wasn't going to turn. She was going to stay in that direction until something killed her by getting in her way because with God as her witness, she was going to pick a direction at random and walk with it until she couldn't walk anymore.


	2. wipe your eyes

Sonny Munroe Nearly Drowns in Atlantic Ocean

By: Ryan O'Connor

Yesterday, longtime actress, twenty-six year old Sonny Munroe's body was found drifting in the Atlantic Ocean. A competitive swimmer, Jaclyn Foss, swimming out farther than most other beach goers do, was the one who found Monroe, barely breathing and alive by what can only statistically called pure luck, unconscious and bleeding from the head in the ocean about half of a mile off of the nearest shoreline. Foss pulled Munroe ashore and administered CPR as she had been trained to do in a Red Cross class she had taken over the summer (to register for these same classes please call five-five-five-eight-zero-three-one). By the time authorities had arrived on the scene from a nine-one-one call dialed by a friend of Foss who had been instructed to do so, Munroe was returning to consciousness. After being checked for serious injuries, Munroe was brought to Care for Mercy Hospital in an ambulance for a more extensive search for head trauma and injuries that require scans to check for. Munroe's ex-coworkers from the show she previously worked on, _So Random!_, arrived at the hospital only moments after Munroe had been checked out. Tawni Hart, twenty-seven, told me, with many tears streaming down her face in compassion for her best friend, that Munroe had called her at three twenty eight in the morning the night before. Hart was not awake to hear the phone, and Munroe did not leave a voicemail for Hart to hear when she awoke. Munroe refused to answer any questions as to how or why the incident happened, except after hearing one reported repeat a question over and over again as to how she ended up in the Atlantic Ocean after three in the morning when her house is over five miles away from it and her car was at her house. Munroe angrily responded to the reporter in a tart voice that she "had picked a direction at random and just walked with it." No further questions were asked of her.

Amidst all of the chaos that was going on, the many people who saw the mess were quite surprised that Munroe's longtime boyfriend, aged twenty-seven Chad Dylan Cooper, was not present to comfort or even to walk with Munroe out of the hospital after she had been checked out. Munroe declined all questions about him, and her accompaniments seemed as dumbfounded as we were that Cooper hadn't shown up to see Munroe during her overnight stay at the hospital. Cooper admitted when several reporters were hounding him at his beachside home with questions as to why he had not been there to see Munroe before, during, or after the incident , that they were no longer seeing each other "publicly or privately" anymore. This answer shocked all of the people who were around to hear it, and has been estimated to raise all tabloid sales for at least the next two months and one week by fifty eight and seven hundred sixty five thousandths percent.

"It's mainly all garbage, Sonny. There's really no need to worry about anything in here being true. They have Chad saying that you two aren't together anymore. As if that could ever happen between you two! You know, that's really just so impossible that I really can't even imagine a world where you two aren't together anymore. You two are perfect. As if you and Chad would ever break up," Tawni laughed heartily and closed the newspaper, throwing it onto a nearby table that a busboy was just about to clean up.

"Well, about that... Tawni, did you ever wonder why Chad didn't bother to come and see me after I nearly drowned?" Sonny asked. Tawni looked up from where she had been calculating how many carbohydrates were within each of the pancakes that were piled high on a buffet bar about four yards away and shrugged thoughtfully as she stirred three (she mainly had four) creams into her coffee absentmindedly.

"I thought about it a little, but when I asked you, you just told me that it didn't matter and you would tell me later on. Speaking of which, it is later and I would like to be told why your perfect boyfriend didn't even show his face near anyone yesterday when you nearly drowned. Oh, did you two get into a spat over something or other? You two always seem to do just that over the most pointless things. It's just as well; I don't have to tell _you_ that the best kind of sex is make up sex after a petty argument that doesn't ever really mean anything. It's a very good way to get the aggression out for some things," Tawni mentioned and daintily lifted her cup of coffee into her mouth and sipped with a grace Sonny wished she could possess. Sonny closed her hands around her own cup of coffee and stared into Tawni's eyes for a moment or two.

"Tawni, I've told you before that I'm saving myself for marriage. You didn't have to bring it up," she commented a bit sourly. "Anyways, we're getting off topic. Tawni, last night Chad broke up with me."

Silence remained until Tawni finally looked up from her coffee and stared into Sonny's eyes without blinking before. "You didn't tell me about that then. You know, I thought that you would have told me about something that was as big as this is if it happened. Why didn't you even think to tell me about, Sonny?" Suddenly her voice is scared is demanding. "Am I not your best friend? You couldn't even call to tell me about it happening, now could you? You're so rude to me when I'm trying to actually care and feel something for you like pity. I can't even believe that we were friends!" Tawni screamed, standing up while trying to collect her purse. Those carbohydrate filled pancakes obviously weren't an option for her today.

"Tawni, come back! I did call," Sonny said almost mutely and sank into her chair. Tawni heard though and turned around to stare. "I called you at three twenty eight in the morning. You didn't pick up."

"Don't throw that at me. I was sleeping! Any _sane_ person would be! I was so worried about you when you were unconscious. I feel like you're one of my best friends, Sonny. I don't want to lose you over something stupid like the argument we're having right now. I'm sorry that Chad broke up with you, sweetie, but you have to understand that _everyone_ saw this coming," she mentioned, sitting down and picking a single blueberry out of a bowl of fruit. She looked up at Sonny after a moment of concentrating on the fruit. Seeing her best friend look so broken caused a change of heart. "Oh, sweetie, I was _kidding_. We all thought that you two were absolutely perfect for each other. Not a one thought you were ever going to break up. You two were practically perfect in every way. Mary Poppins material and all, you know," she said gently.

Sonny nodded and stood up from her chair. "Thanks for taking the time to meet with me, Tawni. I think I have some unfinished to attend to. For the record, I thought that we would last forever too. Oh well, that's over and done with. I'll catch up with you later, Tawni." Tawni nodded slightly sympathetically and watched as her best friend made a brave face and exited the café looking like a lost little puppy, trying to figure out where it buried its bone. She knew Sonny would have problems with being single. They all did.

No one _enjoyed_ being single, even if they claimed they didn't like to be held down. Every once in a while, even the most independent person on the planet likes to get a call and dictate what they'll be doing on a Friday or Saturday night. Tawni knew that someday the title of 'singe queen' would no longer be hers to claim, and she was perfectly fine with that. But for now, she would share it with Sonny and do her best to keep her best friend from straying from the path that all single ladies must follow in order to keep from being single too long. Tawni had fallen away from the path once. She remembered that now, looking at her left hand that bore no rings. It had worn a ring on its ring finger once. She had been in love at some point or another, but remembering was for people who had nothing better to do than to sit around all day and remember. Tawni Hart had better things to do then spend her whole day remembering something from what was now like a past life. With that in mind, she, as well as Sonny, put on a brave face, laid down some cash to cover their bill, and left the café thinking about what she had left behind with David.

David. David Malden. After a three year relationship with him, Tawni had finally kicked him to curb ruthlessly, throwing the engagement ring he had given her three weeks before at him as a sign of finality. He had left Hollywood after that. Neither had spoken to the other in just over a year.

Tawni would get him back if she wanted him back. Tawni could do things like that. If Tawni wanted someone back, they came crawling back on their hands and knees, pleading for a second chance. Tawni Hart was the queen of hearts. Sure, she was kind of falling off the throne right now, but she could fix that later. She had a full day ahead of her. She had to prepare Sonny Munroe for the life of a single twenty-seven year old. Someone was in for quite the shock today.


End file.
